This exercise assigns the poet to write a poem where he or she brags. Addonizio and Laux suggest starting with a list of things at which I may be good. The further along in the writing process I got, the more the poem started to sound like a slam. I committed to that sound and it was like riding a bike; it had been at least four years since I'd written a slam poem. On an obliquely related note, I've recently grown disgruntled by the lack of traffic on my blog; albeit, I haven't been trying very hard to generate it. So, as a cyber-social experiment, I threw in some currently popular Google search phrases to see if it may have an effect on this post's popularity. Admittedly, this admission may skew results. This will probably be one of the few times I'll create site links in a poem.
swine flu over the cuckoo’s nest
it is the ‘oh’ i will manifest
take a read, deny or attest to the best
poet blogger, i jest, lest you dig
what was just confessed;
the cat has run out of the brag.
this is a slam that doesn’t take the cake
it takes the bakery, rollin’ out dough and siftin’ out the fakery.
it is the sneezy sick snaz of a slam
poem that sneaks in some glam
for the moment, like adam lambert
or rock like daughtry of american idol idolatry,
idly i’ll try to win your clicks, so quickly
pick me, squeeze my juice and drink
my shit so good it stink, from toilet bowl
to kitchen sink, i’m gonna run like water
to the brink, tickled pink, then disappear like missing link.
i’m the gay marriage storm arriving to do harm,
get beyonce to ring the alarm and create buzz
like a killer bee swarm, consider yourself warned.
i’m gonna wreck like britney, spear
like aborigine, clown like circus, and just
when you think i had enough, you’ll see me
break from a cocoon, rising,
like the moon, like the hole of a cartoon
ending, that i’ll pick up and emerge from and
blow up like vesuvius cum, but taste
like gumdrops--covet me kookaburra--like cocoa,
chocolate, hot, need me like coke, coke addict,
feenin’ like whitney, the diva not the mountain,
i’m the fountain of youth, my words new forever,
my words stay for always more clever, better
than yours, got you on all fours, whore, literally floored,
huffin’, nailed you into a coffin, dead cause
i coughed in your face, this is a slam and a murder case,
kill like phil spector then ghost like a spector, start war
over beauty like hector, teach you lessons like lecture,
feel on my tectures, stack lines with architectural
integrity, its gritty, my dirt, my spit, my squirt, my shit,
i blurt, i slit, i skirt, i hit the nail on the head
i’m hurt, i’m fit, i’m curt, i’m long like wind
i’m bucky done gun, dmc run, a girl who just wants to have fun
the good son, mcauley culkin calls me a monster, mon
djs spin me like spiral, md’s can’t cure me like viral, disagree i’ll
fire yall, i’m trump, i’m oprah winfrey, there’s no stopping
the juggernaut, the every thing you’re not, the beast,
the disease, the tsunami’s coming, flee, the i-got-your-crazy crazy,
the no other possibility, the who else is it gonna be but me.